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In the Year 2000...

The human appendix will solidify its reputation for being useless, when it is caught behind the liver watching game shows and eating Pork Rines.

A drunken Billy Joel will burst into a bar and yell, ''Hey everyone, the Piano Man's here!'' He will be killed in a hail of beer nuts.

Pop Tarts(TM) will lose popularity when they no longer just pop out of the toaster, but leap out, shake their fists, and in a voice choked with emotion, remind you that they're alive, dangit, alive!

School attendance will soar as schools offer enormously popular courses in Chillin' and Gettin' Freaky.

In a move that will shock the culinary community, french fries and french toast will disavow all ties to France, and ask to simply be known as 'greasy potato slivers' and 'egg bread soggies.'

Sales of Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo will drop off dramatically when they change their slogan from No More Tears(TM) to No More Face(TM)!

The echo will no longer simply repeat what you say, but will make sarcastic comments about what you say.

Fat men will begin loitering in restrooms with the invention of the ice cream urinal cake.

Charmin is forced to produce a new ten-ply toilet paper after Taco Bell introduces its new 'Diarrheato Supreme.'